CONTENTS
1 I STARTED SOMETHING I JUST COULDN’T FINISH
In which The Author contemplates the incompleteness of his life so far
2 ELTON DEAN – SORELY MISSED
In which The Author doesn’t see the finest sax player since Coltrane
3 SKIRTING THE ISSUE
In which The Author reveals his legs and inner thoughts
4 METAMORPHOSES
In which The Author fails to recognise an old friend
5 A LOAD OF CRAP
In which The Author examines the contents of his recycling bag
6 LEARNING DISABILITIES
In which The Author meets some children with ‘special needs’
7 A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
In which The Author gets an email from an old friend
8 ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN
In which The Author reads a rather strange letter in a newspaper
9 LITE RACY RATS
In which The Author reads a worrying report in a newspaper
10 A MYSTERIOUS BOOK
In which The Author receives an unexpected delivery
11 MERE COINCIDENCE…?
In which The Author ponders the deep structure of the Universe
12 IT’S MUSIC, JIM – BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT
In which The Author recalls a New Year holiday in Carmarthen
13 EXTRACT FROM THE UNCOLLECTED NOTEBOOKS 1
In which The Author wonders what he has to do to get some privacy
14 I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY
In which The Author revisits the life and career of Jack Trevor Story
15 INCOMPLETE LIST OF GIGS
In which The Author realises he spent far too much time watching bands when he was younger
16 BLOODY WOMEN
In which The Author talks to one of a pair of twins
17 JUDGEMENT DAY
In which The Author experiences some technical difficulties
18 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 1
In which The Author has a letter printed in the newspaper
19 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 2
In which The Author doesn’t have a letter printed in the newspaper
20 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 3
In which The Author writes the Letter of the Week in the local newspaper
21 GRANOTECHNOLOGY
In which The Author coins a new word for an old phenomenon
22 CAREERS ADVICE TO THE YOUNG
In which The Author offers some life lessons to the next generation
23 THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
In which The Author plays a joke on a friend
24 THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
In which The Author is abducted by extraterrestrials
25 MAKING HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES
In which The Author goes on tour
26 THE ONLY STRAIGHTS IN THE VILLAGE
In which The Author and his friends are victims of an unfortunate misunderstanding
27 THE FOLKS WHO LIVED ON THE HILL
In which The Author reminisces about his childhood home
28 APROPOS OF NOTHING…
In which The Author discovers an old song on YouTube
29 NEVER ARGUE WITH THE DESIGNATED DRIVER
In which The Author takes a bus journey
30 I WANT SOME ‘EXCITEMENT’ IN MY LIFE
In which The Author goes in search of physical and mental stimulation
31 MORE ON THE ‘EXCITING’ SURVEY AT THE SURGERY
In which The Author has cause to question his life expectancy
32 ‘WHAT DO YOU WANT?’ – ‘INFORMATION!’
In which The Author encounters a telephone ‘helpline’
33 WHAT’S IN A NAME?
In which The Author muses on changing fashions in childrens’ names
34 THE WRONG D. WALLACE
In which The Author buys a book
35 IT’S BEGINNING TO SOUND A LOT LIKE XMAS
In which The Author is mentally tortured contrary to International Law
36 THE GREAT MIGRATION
In which The Author indulges his sweet tooth
37 ANOTHER STRANGE COINCIDENCE
In which The Author has a weird dream
38 STRAIGHTFORWARD? PAH!
In which The Author attempts some DIY
39 MUSINGS ON THE LOSS OF AN OLD FRIEND
In which The Author attends a funeral or three
40 IT’S GOING TO BE A VERY LONG MONTH
In which The Author demonstrates his Stealth Proofreading skills
41 CHOCS AWAY!
In which The Author sends a Valentine card
42 THE GREAT VALLEYS SONGBOOK
In which The Author goes to see live music again
43 SCHOOL REUNION
In which The Author acquires some new PC software
44 INHIBITIONS AND EXHIBITIONS
In which The Author expounds a theory of mental illness
45 IT’S A HARD LIFE
In which The Author reflects on a publishing phenomenon
46 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 4
In which The Author bemoans the booking policy at his local cinema
47 GOING DOWN THE RIVER
In which The Author explores the upper stretch of the Vale of Neath
48 FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER
In which The Author finds his soulmate – and loses her again
49 THE BOYS’ VILLAGE PHOTOSHOOT
In which The Author is a model for the afternoon
50 ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
In which The Author finds the perfect song to sum up an abortive relationship
51 PICK’N'(RE)MIX
In which The Author casts an eye over contemporary youth culture
52 RESULTS DAY
In which The Author recalls failing exams
53 MONDAY, BLOODY MONDAY
In which The Author spends the day in the pub
54 SHAGGED OUT
In which The Author wonders what has happened to his libido
55 REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL (Part 4)
In which The Author justifies his decision to take the money and run
56 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 1)
In which The Author explores some of his interior landscape
57 DOWN AMONGST THE ÜBERMENSCHEN
In which The Author meets some BNP sympathisers
58 TIME AND TIDE
In which The Author witnesses a wonder of the natural world
59 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 5
In which The Author makes a plea for a choice of television viewing
60 CSI ABERDARE
In which The Author has a sneaky preview of his Criminalistics practical
61 HIT AND MISS
In which The Author sees a particularly lovely pair of legs
62 FOOL’S MATE
In which The Author has to describe his ideal woman
63 FALLING OUT OF LOVE
In which The Author writes a eulogy
64 AUTUMN ALMANAC
In which The Author is decided seasonally affected
65 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 6
In which The Author defends a local pub for local people
66 STRANGERS ON A TRAIN
In which The Author overhears a conversation
67 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 2)
In which The Author explores more of his interior landscape
68 A PAY-IN IN THE ARSE
In which The Author engages in battle with the machines yet again
69 ABSENT FRIENDS
In which The Author sees some old pals reunited
70 EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION…
In which The Author has the six-week blues
71 FREAKS, GEEKS AND SPACE INVADERS
In which The Author is the fount of all knowledge and wisdom
72 IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A BIT LIKE XMAS
In which The Author sees an underwhelming set of festive decorations
73 SOCIAL DILEMMAS
In which The Author wonders about trusting people you deal with online
74 A MINOR MIRACLE
In which The Author has a date
75 EDUCATING NANCY
In which The Author fields a ringer in his Psychology seminar
76 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 3)
In which The Author goes dancing in his subconscious mind
77 MISTLETOE AND NO WINE
In which The Author has a rather unconventional festive season
78 NEW YEAR, NEW START
In which The Author makes some resolutions
79 EAST AND WEST
In which The Author finds himself torn between cultures
80 DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
In which The Author travels in Space and Time without leaving the pub
81 SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND
In which The Author goes to Aberdare’s new ‘upmarket bar’
82 ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
In which The Author is in nostalgic mood (again!)
83 AN EXCITING NEW DOCUMENTARY
In which The Author tries to broaden his appeal to a younger and more media-savvy readership
84 NUMBER NUMBNESS
In which The Author fears that history might repeat itself
85 A VERY STRANGE DREAM
In which The Author finds part of his dream diary from 1997
86 WHY AM I HERE…?
In which The Author ponders a geographical question
87 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 7
In which The Author writes from the perspective of an 80-year old woman
88 IT’S COMPLICATED
In which The Author ponders his relationship status
89 EPIC FAIL
In which The Author discovers the meaning of a popular youth idiom
90 NOOKS AND CRANNIES
In which The Author refreshes his memory of the parts that Google Streetview didn’t reach
91 FRUSTRATIONS OF A SOLITARY WALKER
In which The Author walks for miles without getting anywhere
92 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 8
In which The Author has some mathematical mischief
93 THE TWIN PEAKS EFFECT
In which The Author fancies a girl half the time
94 LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
In which The Author wonders why TV companies make such heavy weather of outdoor filming
95 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 4)
In which The Author goes on more nocturnal journeys
96 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 5)
In which The Author lucidly dreams of a perfect village
97 ANOTHER ODD DREAM
In which The Author does exactly what it says on the tin
98 MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE BAR…
In which The Author has a moment of clarity
99 NEWS? WHAT NEWS…?
In which The Author forwards some important information
100 MARXIST ECONOMICS
In which The Author transcribes an ancient manuscript for a modern audience
101 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 1)
In which The Author lets off some steam
102 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 2)
In which The Author sounds off once again
103 BULLSHIT DETECTOR
In which The Author expounds on The Two Cultures
104 OUT OF AFRICA
In which The Author sees some amazing children at play
105 SNAP, CRACKLE AND POP
In which The Author digs out some old records
106 DEAR ME
In which The Author carries out an internal audit
107 OFFENDER PROFILING
In which The Author does some psychological research
108 WETIQUETTE
In which The Author revisits the unwritten rules of pub culture
109 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 9
In which The Author contributes to the town planning debate
110 POETS’ CORNER
In which The Author and some friends reply to a challenge
111 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 6)
In which The Author discovers one of London’s best-kept secrets
112 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 7)
In which The Author has another lucid dream
113 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 3)
In which The Author sees an irritating use of English
114 TURN LEFT
In which The Author explores a parallel universe
115 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 4)
In which The Author ponders one aspect of the British banking system
116 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 10
In which The Author follows up on an earlier letter
117 ADVENTURES IN THE BOOK TRADE (Part 1)
In which The Author and his friends get asked some silly questions
118 EVERYTHING CHANGES
In which The Author wonders there really is a future
119 MODERN PHYSICS Vol 1: SPACE
In which The Author contemplates the mysteries of length and breadth
120 …ANOTHER DOOR OPENS
In which The Author meets an attractive young lady with a strange past
121 DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS…
In which The Author regrets having the chimney demolished
122 IT’S BEEN AN ODD FEW DAYS
In which The Author reflects on the festive season
123 MODERN PHYSICS Vol 2: TIME
In which The Author muses on the Fourth Dimension
124 MEET THE PARENTS
In which The Author confronts his inner demons (and angels)
125 NOT BORN BEAUTIFUL
In which The Author dreams of a life more ordinary
126 BEHIND THE MASK
In which The Author conceals and reveals simultaneously
127 INSIGHTS INTO THE MIND OF A WORKING MAN
In which The Author meets another pillar of society
128 NO FUTURE
In which The Author comes unstuck in Time
129 SIBLING RIVALRY
In which The Author plays second fiddle
130 MEMORY DUMP
In which The Author reflects on some unreliable memoirs
131 BATCH PROCESSING
In which The Author comes up with a scheme to cut NHS waiting lists
132 SEARCHING FOR SATORI
In which The Author gets lost in translation
133 TIME CRASH
In which The Author witnesses a Spacetime Singularity at first hand
134 FLIPPING PICTURES
In which The Author needs some technical support
135 I’M SORRY, I HAVEN’T A CLUE
In which The Author becomes Technical Support
136 SOME HISTORICAL RESEARCH
In which The Author lives in the past for a while
137 MORE HISTORICAL RESEARCH
In which The Author brings his readers up to date
138 IDENTITY CRISIS
In which The Author addresses an existential question
139 YET ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM
In which The Author’s subconscious plays mind games again
140 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
In which The Author has a note from his mother
141 THE ROUGH GUIDE
In which The Author does his bit for the Welsh tourist industry
142 WELCOME… TO THE REAL WORLD
In which The Author wishes he’d taken the blue pill
143 AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY IDENTICAL
In which The Author stands up
144 HE’S FALLEN IN THE WATER!
In which The Author goes late-night swimming
145 THE PROBLEM OF THE VANISHING BARMAID
In which The Author investigates a modern-day mystery
146 WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?
In which The Author ponders another geographical question
147 IT’S THAT PARALLEL UNIVERSE AGAIN
In which The Author writes an open letter to his student friends
148 PORTION CONTROL
In which The Author exercises some self-restraint
149 CHANCE MEETING
In which The Author stirs up some traumatic memories in a virtual stranger
150 ALL TRUSSED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO
In which The Author’s self-imposed confinement reaches the seven-day mark
151 LOGORRHOEA
In which The Author uses The Chambers Dictionary and not Webster’s
152 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 8)
In which The Author’s subconscious goes wandering again
153 CONNECTING PEOPLE
In which The Author does someone else’s job
154 PICTURE THIS
In which The Author wonders ‘what happens next?’
155 NOTHING EVER HAPPENS
In which The Author doesn’t see an historic event
156 ROBOT INVASION OF EARTH (Phase II)
In which The Author narrowly avoids being upgraded
157 WITH UNFRIENDS LIKE THESE…
In which The Author carries out his first-ever cull
158 COURTING CONTROVERSY
In which The Author considers one of psychology’s great unanswered questions
159 ADVENTURES IN THE BOOK TRADE (Part 2)
In which The Author recalls some good advice
160 FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
In which The Author engages in online dating
161 UP THE AMAZON…
In which The Author encounters more customer disservice
162 AND THEN ONE DAY YOU FIND…
In which The Author (and his friends) get older
163 COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
In which The Author meets a ‘native speaker’ of English
164 A LITTLE RESPECT
In which The Author doesn’t want to be in your gang
165 OMNISCIENCE
In which The Author finds his Time Machine
166 SPOT THE DELIBERATE MISTAKE
In which The Author revisits some of his favourite films
167 MOTORCYCLE EMPTINESS
In which The Author loses another friend
168 ZIGZAGGING DOWN MEMORY LANE
In which The Author takes a drunkard’s walk down his psychick pathways
169 HOW MANY AUTHORS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
In which The Author starts to go off the 21st Century
170 NOTHING SHORT OF A TOTAL WAR
In which The Author chooses a side
171 ADVENTURES IN THE BOOK TRADE (Part 3)
In which The Author and his friends have some mischief
172 LONDON ORBITAL
In which The Author has an adventure for sixty pence
173 GRASSROOTS RESEARCH
In which The Author does some fieldwork
174 A TURN-OUT FOR THE BOOKS
In which The Author learns a new word
175 DEATH WARRANTS
In which The Author and his friend have a mammoth day out
176 WINTER DRAWS ON
In which The Author wraps up warm
177 A PRESSING PROBLEM
In which The Author reads his ‘local’ newspaper
178 A CAPITAL DAY OUT
In which The Author revisits some old haunts
179 A FAREY TALE
In which The Author explores the mysteries of time, space and money
180 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 9)
In which The Author’s dream world extends
181 LIVING IN THE PAST
In which The Author visits another parallel universe
182 FOR THE FALLEN
In which The Author goes in search of the Truth
183 IT’S GRAND OOP NORTH!
A Journey in Several Movements, in which The Author ventures into uncharted territory
184 WALKING THE DOG
In which The Author’s old friend comes sniffing around again
185 NO LAUGHING MATTER
In which The Author keeps a straight face
186 COMIC CUTS
In which The Author watches a demonstration of paper-folding
187 IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
In which The Author’s rational side reasserts itself for a while
188 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 11
In which The Author contacts the BBC
189 ENTERTAINING ANGELS UNAWARES
In which The Author learns the true meaning of Christmas
190 NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET THERE
In which The Author finds himself on the road to nowhere
191 STONE, PAPER, SCISSORS
In which The Author recapitulates an earlier theme
192 THE MUSIC BOX
In which The Author helps to move some furniture
193 THAT WAS THE MONTH THAT WAS
In which The Author helps a friend, loses a friend, and makes some new virtual friends
194 DOWN THE TUBES
In which The Author and his friends go underground
195 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 10)
In which The Author experiences the joys of Co-codamol (again)
196 DÉJÀ VU
In which The Author has a blast from the past
197 BRIEF ENCOUNTER
In which The Author meets a travelling companion
198 ONE NIGHT A DVD SAVED MY BACON
In which The Author concludes his trilogy of train-based encounters
199 SHOT DOWN IN THE NIGHT
In which The Author has a non-train-based rail-related encounter
200 30 DAYS OF KINK
In which The Author is glad the Spirits could do it all in one night
201 NOSE-PAINTING, SLEEP AND URINE
In which The Author keeps his wallet in his pocket
202 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 12
In which The Author’s friend gets through the firewall
203 LAST ORDERS
In which The Author gets a surprise birthday present
204 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 13
In which The Author supports a Liberal Democrat (believe it or not!)
205 ORANGES AND LEMONS
In which The Author reflects on another security leak from the future
206 KOREA OPPORTUNITIES
In which The Author receives an unexpected phone call
207 QUANTUM SILLINESS
In which The Author becomes a co-author
208 THAT’S REALLY SUPER, SUPERGIRL
In which The Author is in a whimsical mood
209 COMPUTER LOVE
In which The Author makes some imaginary friends
210 THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE RADIO LAST WEEK (Part 1)
In which The Author has his horizons broadened by the BBC
211 ASK A SILLY QUESTION…
In which The Author resists the temptation to give a silly answer
212 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 14
In which The Author is a tad cynical
213 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GRADUATE
In which The Author offers some advice to prospective students
214 WAXING LYRICAL
In which The Author can’t hear clearly now
215 C IS FOR CYBERWOMAN
In which The Author reaches the end of a friendship
216 PREDICTIONS (Part 1)
In which The Author dips into a book of science essays
217 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 15
In which The Author cracks the nationals
218 I DON’T LIKE THURSDAYS
In which The Author has a very odd day
219 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 11)
In which The Author goes back to school
220 THE DREADED NETBOOK HURLER OF OLD MOUNTAIN ASH
In which The Author encounters a real-life Goon Show
221 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 5)
In which The Author minds his own business
222 A SAD DAY FOR DEBAUCHERY-CUM-DEPRAVITY
In which The Author drinks up and leaves
223 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 6)
In which The Author goes bump in the night
224 THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE RADIO LAST MONTH
In which The Author catches up on four weeks’ listening
225 THE DOG, THE DOG, HE’S DOING IT AGAIN
In which The Author is way down
226 PREDICTIONS (Part 2)
In which The Author doesn’t have your number
227 THIS NON-SPORTING LIFE
In which The Author presents another slice of life in a Valleys town
228 GETTING STONED
In which The Author and his pals have an impromptu day out
229 DIGITAL BY DEFAULT (ALMOST…)
In which The Author plays computer games with the Government
230 IT’S THE SAME OLD SONG
In which The Author decides to buy some headphones
231 W.W.W.W.W.W. (Part 1: The Travelling Tippler’s Problem)
In which The Author tries to get connected
This website is just amazing. I have only just discovered it but an going to enjoy trawling through it for a long time to come
Kepp up the good work.
Too much for me to read in one night. Loved the Boys Village post, and Pick’n'(re)Mix. It just about sums it up, whatever it is.
I live in Aberdare too. Just a bit older than you, I used to frequent the Moon Club, behind and above the old Fruit Market on the Hayes, Cardiff. If you thought Bogies was shabby… (Suggest look at the notes under the words for “Another Country” on Small Symphonies).
Excellent stuff – I’ll be back.
Still loving the blogs, and hope that they wont ever stop! Oh, and it doesnt have to be a lonely Xmas, some people have worked over their insecurities, and may be worth the effort now
I hope you get in touch! xxx
HAHAHAHAH!X
I loved your article on “Another One Bites the Dust”. Writings like this mean a lot to someone who was born and raised a stones throw from The Mount. I recognized several of the characters you mentioned, i.e. Bill Edwards, Dai “Narrow” (a neighbor), and Meredith Morgan the preacher. The Mount was my father’s “local”, and I spent many happy hours there as a kid enjoying crisps and pop. I left Aberdare for the United States in 1966 (I guess the year you were born), but still have a very special place in my heart for my hometown.
I love reading your blog Steve. Some of it goes over my head, I suppose too many years of hard living but I enjoy it all just the same. Many thanks for sharing not only your life but your thoughts as well, it shows what a clever and articulate chap you really are and how you’re not afraid to voice your opinions.
Thanks for that, Neil. I like to put a bit of work and a bit of thought into it, good to know it’s appreciated. See you soon, mate
Oh, this looks like it will be loads of fun & enlightening. Glad the Cosmic Randomness pulled you up in related articles land.
Welcome aboard, Keith, glad to kind-of meet up