I’m not going to write too much here, that would spoil the fun.
I was born in 1966, and apart from my year at university, I’ve lived in the same small town in south Wales ever since. I used to work in the book trade but as of September 2009 I’m a full-time student again. I own my own house; I’m single; I’ve got no kids, no pets, no TV, no money to speak of…
This series of disconnected jottings isn’t intended to reveal any Great Truths about Life, The Universe and Everything. There are Great Writers who do that sort of thing on a regular basis. But I freely admit that I’m not exactly Mr Average, and I do tend to look at Life from a jaunty angle sometimes.
I also tend to get involved with interesting/eccentric/artistic/creative/odd people, and often find myself in situations which most people tend to pass by. (If I drop the odd name here and there, it’s not to show off – it’s just to illustrate the preceding point.)
Some of these entries are recycled from an earlier blog I had on MySpace, and where possible I’ve included the original date. Some are Extracts from my Uncollected Notebooks – these are a series of small pocket books written largely in coded hieroglyphics, which I’ve carried for many years. (My literary executor is under stern instruction to burn them all before reading.) However, occasionally one piece turns up which is worthy of preservation. Some are letters which I’ve sent to local newspapers over the years. Of these, about a third have been published. My complete scrapbook went missing some years ago. There’s a reward for its safe return.
I hope you enjoy these random (in the literal sense, not in the “teenspeak” sense) outpourings, and if you do, please leave a comment. Otherwise, I’m going to feel like Jack Trevor Story… (See I want to tell you a Story) And if you do find what I write to be to your tastes, why not try out my slice of Doctor Who/Torchwood fanfic, Pit Stop?
CONTENTS
1 I STARTED SOMETHING I JUST COULDN’T FINISH
In which The Author contemplates the incompleteness of his life so far
2 ELTON DEAN – SORELY MISSED
In which The Author doesn’t see the finest sax player since Coltrane
3 SKIRTING THE ISSUE
In which The Author reveals his legs and inner thoughts
4 METAMORPHOSES
In which The Author fails to recognise an old friend
5 A LOAD OF CRAP
In which The Author examines the contents of his recycling bag
6 LEARNING DISABILITIES
In which The Author meets some children with “special needs”
7 A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
In which The Author gets an email from an old friend
8 ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN
In which The Author reads a rather strange letter in a newspaper
9 LITE RACY RATS
In which The Author reads a worrying report in a newspaper
10 A MYSTERIOUS BOOK
In which The Author receives an unexpected delivery
11 MERE COINCIDENCES…?
In which The Author ponders the deep structure of the Universe
12 IT’S MUSIC, JIM – BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT
In which The Author recalls a New Year holiday in Carmarthen
13 EXTRACT FROM THE UNCOLLECTED NOTEBOOKS 1
In which The Author wonders what he has to do to get some privacy
14 I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY
In which The Author revisits the life and career of Jack Trevor Story
15 INCOMPLETE LIST OF GIGS
In which The Author realises he spent far too much time watching bands when he was younger
16 BLOODY WOMEN
In which The Author talks to one of a pair of twins
17 JUDGEMENT DAY
In which The Author experiences some technical difficulties
18 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 1
In which The Author has a letter printed in the newspaper
19 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 2
In which The Author doesn’t have a letter printed in the newspaper
20 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 3
In which The Author writes the Letter of the Week in the local newspaper
21 GRANOTECHNOLOGY
In which The Author coins a new word for an old phenomenon
22 CAREERS ADVICE TO THE YOUNG
In which The Author offers some life lessons to the next generation
23 THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
In which The Author plays a joke on a friend
24 THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
In which The Author is abducted by extraterrestrials
25 MAKING HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES
In which The Author goes on tour
26 THE ONLY STRAIGHTS IN THE VILLAGE
In which The Author and his friends are victims of an unfortunate misunderstanding
27 THE FOLKS THAT LIVED ON THE HILL
In which The Author reminisces about his childhood home
28 APROPOS OF NOTHING…
In which The Author discovers an old song on YouTube
29 NEVER ARGUE WITH THE DESIGNATED DRIVER
In which The Author takes a bus journey
30 I WANT SOME “EXCITEMENT” IN MY LIFE
In which The Author goes in search of physical and mental stimulation
31 MORE ON THIS “EXCITING” SURVEY AT THE SURGERY
In which The Author has cause to question his life expectancy
32 “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” – “INFORMATION!”
In which The Author encounters a telephone “helpline”
33 WHAT’S IN A NAME?
In which The Author muses on changing fashions in childrens’ names
34 THE WRONG D. WALLACE
In which The Author buys a book
35 IT’S BEGINNING TO SOUND A LOT LIKE XMAS
In which The Author is mentally tortured contrary to International Law
36 THE GREAT MIGRATION
In which The Author indulges his sweet tooth
37 ANOTHER STRANGE COINCIDENCE
In which The Author has a weird dream
38 STRAIGHTFORWARD? PAH!
In which The Author attempts some DIY
39 MUSINGS ON THE LOSS OF AN OLD FRIEND AND THE MISPLACEMENT OF ANOTHER
In which The Author attends a funeral or three
40 IT’S GOING TO BE A VERY LONG MONTH
In which The Author demonstrates his proofreading skills
41 CHOCS AWAY!
In which The Author sends a Valentine card
42 THE GREAT VALLEYS SONGBOOK
In which The Author goes to see live music again
43 SCHOOL REUNION
In which The Author acquires some new PC software
44 INHIBITIONS AND EXHIBITIONS
In which The Author expounds a theory of mental illness
45 IT’S A HARD LIFE
In which The Author reflects on a publishing phenomenon
46 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 4
In which The Author bemoans the booking policy at his local cinema
47 GOING DOWN THE RIVER
In which The Author explores the upper stretch of the Vale of Neath
48 FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER
In which The Author finds his soulmate – and loses her again
49 THE BOYS’ VILLAGE PHOTOSHOOT
In which The Author is a model for the afternoon
50 ON A PERSONAL NOTE…
In which The Author finds the perfect song to sum up an abortive relationship
51 PICK’N'(RE)MIX
In which The Author casts an eye over contemporary youth culture
52 RESULTS DAY
In which The Author recalls failing exams
53 MONDAY, BLOODY MONDAY
In which The Author spends the day in the pub
54 SHAGGED OUT
In which The Author wonders what has happened to his libido
55 REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL (Part 4)
In which The Author justifies his decision to take the money and run
56 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 1)
In which The Author explores some of his interior landscape
57 DOWN AMONGST THE UBERMENSCHEN
In which The Author meets some BNP sympathisers
58 TIME AND TIDE
In which The Author witnesses a wonder of the natural world
59 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 5
In which The Author makes a plea for a choice of television viewing
60 CSI ABERDARE
In which The Author has a sneaky preview of his Criminalistics practical
61 HIT AND MISS
In which The Author sees a particularly lovely pair of legs
62 FOOL’S MATE
In which The Author has to describe his ideal woman
63 FALLING OUT OF LOVE
In which The Author writes a eulogy
64 AUTUMN ALMANAC
In which The Author is decided seasonally affected
65 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 6
In which The Author defends a local pub for local people
66 STRANGERS ON A TRAIN
In which The Author overhears a conversation
67 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 2)
In which The Author explores more of his interior landscape
68 A PAY-IN IN THE ARSE
In which The Author engages in battle with the machines yet again
69 ABSENT FRIENDS
In which The Author sees some old pals reunited
70 EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION…
In which The Author has the six-week blues
71 FREAKS, GEEKS AND SPACE INVADERS
In which The Author is the fount of all knowledge and wisdom
72 IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A BIT LIKE XMAS
In which The Author sees an underwhelming set of festive decorations
73 SOCIAL DILEMMAS
In which The Author wonders about trusting people you deal with online
74 A MINOR MIRACLE
In which The Author has a date
75 EDUCATING NANCY
In which The Author fields a ringer in his Psychology seminar
76 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 3)
In which The Author goes dancing in his subconscious mind
77 MISTLETOE AND NO WINE
In which The Author has a rather unconventional festive season
78 NEW YEAR, NEW START
In which The Author makes some resolutions
79 EAST AND WEST
In which The Author finds himself torn between cultures
80 DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
In which The Author travels in Space and Time without leaving the pub
81 SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND
In which The Author goes to Aberdare’s new “upmarket bar”
82 ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
In which The Author is in nostalgic mood (again!)
83 AN EXCITING NEW DOCUMENTARY
In which The Author tries to broaden his appeal to a younger and more media-savvy readership
84 NUMBER NUMBNESS
In which The Author fears that history might repeat itself
85 A VERY STRANGE DREAM
In which The Author finds part of his dream diary from 1997
86 WHY AM I HERE…?
In which The Author ponders a geographical question
87 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 7
In which The Author writes from the perspective of an 80-year old woman
88 IT’S COMPLICATED
In which The Author ponders his relationship status
89 EPIC FAIL
In which The Author discovers the meaning of a popular youth idiom
90 NOOKS AND CRANNIES
In which The Author refreshes his memory of the parts that Google Streetview didn’t reach
91 FRUSTRATIONS OF A SOLITARY WALKER
In which The Author walks for miles without getting anywhere
92 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 8
In which The Author has some mathematical mischief
93 THE TWIN PEAKS EFFECT
In which The Author fancies a girl half the time
94 LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
In which The Author wonders why TV companies make such heavy weather of outdoor filming
95 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 4)
In which The Author goes on more nocturnal journeys
96 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 5)
In which The Author lucidly dreams of a perfect village
97 ANOTHER ODD DREAM
In which The Author does exactly what it says on the tin
98 MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE BAR…
In which The Author has a moment of clarity
99 NEWS? WHAT NEWS…?
In which The Author forwards some important information
100 MARXIST ECONOMICS
In which The Author transcribes an ancient manuscript for a modern audience
101 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 1)
In which The Author lets off some steam
102 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 2)
In which The Author sounds off once again
103 BULLSHIT DETECTOR
In which The Author expounds on The Two Cultures
104 OUT OF AFRICA
In which The Author sees some amazing children at play
105 SNAP, CRACKLE AND POP
In which The Author digs out some old records
106 DEAR ME
In which The Author carries out an internal audit
107 OFFENDER PROFILING
In which The Author does some psychological research
108 WETIQUETTE
In which The Author revisits the unwritten rules of pub culture
109 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 9
In which The Author contributes to the town planning debate
110 POET’S CORNER
In which The Author and some friends reply to a challenge
111 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 6)
In which The Author discovers one of London’s best-kept secrets
112 WHERE I GO IN MY DREAMS (Part 7)
In which The Author has another lucid dream
113 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 3)
In which The Author sees an irritating use of English
114 TURN LEFT
In which The Author explores a parallel universe
115 INCOMPLETE LIST OF ANNOYANCES (Part 4)
In which The Author ponders one aspect of the British banking system
116 A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 10
In which The Author follows up on an earlier letter
117 ADVENTURES IN THE BOOK TRADE (Part 1)
In which The Author and his friends get asked some silly questions
118 EVERYTHING CHANGES
In which The Author wonders there really is a future
119 MODERN PHYSICS Vol 1: SPACE
In which The Author contemplates the mysteries of length and breadth
120 MEANWHILE, IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
In which The Author takes the road less travelled
121 …ANOTHER DOOR OPENS
In which The Author meets an attractive young lady with a strange past
122 DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS…
In which The Author regrets having the chimney demolished
123 IT’S BEEN AN ODD FEW DAYS
In which The Author reflects on the festive season
124 MODERN PHYSICS Vol 2: TIME
In which The Author muses on the Fourth Dimension
125 MEET THE PARENTS
In which The Author confronts his inner demons (and angels)
126 NOT BORN BEAUTIFUL
In which The Author dreams of a life more ordinary
127 BEHIND THE MASK
In which The Author conceals and reveals simultaneously
128 INSIGHTS INTO THE MIND OF A WORKING MAN
In which The Author meets another pillar of society</em
129 NO FUTURE
In which The Author comes unstuck in Time
This website is just amazing. I have only just discovered it but an going to enjoy trawling through it for a long time to come
Kepp up the good work.
Too much for me to read in one night. Loved the Boys Village post, and Pick’n'(re)Mix. It just about sums it up, whatever it is.
I live in Aberdare too. Just a bit older than you, I used to frequent the Moon Club, behind and above the old Fruit Market on the Hayes, Cardiff. If you thought Bogies was shabby… (Suggest look at the notes under the words for “Another Country” on Small Symphonies).
Excellent stuff – I’ll be back.
Still loving the blogs, and hope that they wont ever stop! Oh, and it doesnt have to be a lonely Xmas, some people have worked over their insecurities, and may be worth the effort now
I hope you get in touch! xxx
HAHAHAHAH!X
I loved your article on “Another One Bites the Dust”. Writings like this mean a lot to someone who was born and raised a stones throw from The Mount. I recognized several of the characters you mentioned, i.e. Bill Edwards, Dai “Narrow” (a neighbor), and Meredith Morgan the preacher. The Mount was my father’s “local”, and I spent many happy hours there as a kid enjoying crisps and pop. I left Aberdare for the United States in 1966 (I guess the year you were born), but still have a very special place in my heart for my hometown.