Insights Into the Mind of a Working Man

In which The Author meets another pillar of society

I was in school with a guy whose younger brother went into the army after he buggered up his O levels. After that he trained as a plumber. He is married, has two grown-up sons, and lives not far from me. We frequent the same pubs from time to time. He divides his time between subcontracting for building firms, and pontificating in the pub on the major issues of the day after several cans of cider. For the last couple of weeks he’s been off work after injuring his leg, This extra time spent in his charming company has enabled me to compile the following empirical data:
AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF PEOPLE HE HATES
  • The French
  • The Germans
  • The Chinese ¹
  • The Japanese
  • Black people
  • The Indians
  • The Pakistanis
  • The Muslims
  • Anyone living in ‘Third World countries’
  • The Polish
  • The Spanish
  • The Gypsies
  • The Scots
  • The Irish
  • People from Cardiff
  • People from the Rhondda
  • People from the West Country
  • The Geordies
  • The Scousers
  • The Cockneys
  • The Gays
  • The Socialists
  • The Communists
  • The Students
  • The unemployed
  • The smackheads
  • The Criminals
  • The Government
  • The banks
  • The privatised utilities
  • Anyone who doesn’t like fighting
  • People with IT skills
  • Hypocrites

and his own brother (on the bizarre grounds that ‘he’s so fucking opinionated!’)

¹ This includes the family from the takeaway opposite, who are in fact Vietnamese

(He’s talking to someone else now, so I’ll have to add further entries to this list as and when required …)

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