Crash

In which The Author can’t think of anything to write

I’m about a quarter of the way through writing quite a large entry, which certainly isn’t going to be completed today (or even tomorrow, at this rate!) But as it’s NaBloPoMo (I still love saying that out loud) and I don’t want to miss a day, I thought I’d relate a small catastrophe which happened yesterday evening.

Midway through the 6.00 news on Radio 4, part of the Cosmic Tigger Reference Library (see ‘The Expert System‘) collapsed under its own weight. A shelfload of heavy reference books crashed onto my desk and very nearly took out my computer monitor. It’s my own fault, as I’ve been cramming books onto the existing shelves rather than fitting a new one. I’ve only been delaying the inevitable, and last night the inevitable happened.

I spent an amusing hour or so cutting two lengths from the supporting struts and fixing them to the adjacent wall, then making an improvised bookend from my CD rack. I’ve got another offcut of timber which I can cut to seal off the other ends, and then I can start rebuilding my collection properly.

It won’t be long before the bookcases on the landing are full as well. I might be able to squeeze another two bookcases into the front room if push comes to shove. Then it’ll be time for some serious DIY. I’ve seen all sorts of stylish storage ideas in books and on websites over the years, and I think I might have to start adapting some of them myself. I like the idea of open shelves along the edge of the staircase, facing into the front room. I’ve even seen shelves above door reveals, but I’ll have to keep the loadbearing capacity in mind. The old ‘bucket of water and a bit of string’ gag might have worked as a practical joke in comics, but it could result in a serious injury if it happened with heavy books.

Having said that, I was talking to Barbara (see ‘Up the Amazon …‘) a few weeks ago, and it sounds as though she and Adrian reached this stage a long time ago. She described the situation in their house, and I’ve got some way to go before the books completely invade the upstairs of my house. I’ve only got a few books in my bedroom so far, but that’ll be the next move if I’m not careful.

There’s one distinct advantage to having an entire wall lined with shelves of books, mind you. When Jehovah’s Witnesses knock my door, I can show them my collection and say, ‘Do I look like a “just one book” kinda guy?’

Advertisement