To enable my readers to keep track of the many people I mention throughout the blog, I’ve decided to compile a cast of characters. I’ve also started going through it from the start, amending certain names so that they can be cross-referenced with this handy checklist. It’s going to take quite a while to complete this part of the project, so please bear with me in the meantime.
PRINCIPAL CAST IN APPROXIMATE ORDER OF APPEARANCE
THE AUTHOR
SAM H.
An ex-girlfriend, care home manager
ROSS
A film-maker, author, former work colleague
STU
A Meteorological Office Observer
KATHLEEN
A photographer, teacher, former work colleague
LISA
An ex-girlfriend, teacher
ANNETTE
A schoolfriend’s sister
ALYSON B.
A midwife and lecturer
SAM E.
A burlesque dancer
GEMA
An ex-girlfriend, psycho bint
EMMA L.
An Australian girl
HELEN R.
A kinky girl, mother to THOMAS and EVAN
JOSIE H.
A PhD student, author, former partner to ALYSON
ED
A bushcraft instructor, computer hacker
KAREN J.
A student, partner to ED
CLAIRE M.
An alt model, dancer, singer
DEAN
An electrician, former partner to CAROLE
CAROLE B.
A reflexologist, sister to ALYSON, former partner to DEAN
JON R.
A taxi driver, partner to CLAIRE B.
CLAIRE B.
A nutter, partner to JON R.
LEIGHTON L.
A construction worker, partner to JUDITH H., father to KEIRA
CHRIS R.
A Yorkshireman
JUDITH H.
A teacher, partner to LEIGHTON L.
DEBBIE B.
A teacher, sister to JUDITH H.
AMANDA N.
A social worker
HELEN J.
A single mother
NATHAN, ASHLEIGH
Children of HELEN J.
ROWLAND
A retired newspaper editor
CARL BLEWITT
A company director and paranormal investigator
RHIAN
A lesbian
SHANARA
A dippy Bangladeshi bint
JULIAN E., MATTHEW E.
The Author’s maternal cousins
JACK TREVOR STORY
A British novelist
LIZ L.
A good twin
VICCI L.
An evil twin
ANGELA R.
A political campaigner
JUDITH G., MENNA, PAUL W.
Librarians
GAZ
A narcoleptic
NICK B.
A pub landlord
JEFF T.
A former work colleague
LAURIE
A former work colleague
ANN CLYWD
A elected alleged representative of the people
MAMS
The Author’s maternal grandmother
JAMES T.
A former pub landlord
JEFF T., LAURIE, TRISH, JASON D., YASMINE
Former work colleagues
FLORENCE
A social worker from Uganda
PETER D.
A late lamented Irishman
PAUL E.
An unreliable fuck-up
L—, S—, K—
People with mental illnesses
LUCY G.
A bisexual singer, former partner to RHIAN E.
JASON W.
A quality control technican, former partner to PAM
GARETH L.
A student
ANNE L.
An Australian woman, partner to GARETH L, mother to EMMA L.
ALUN G.
A tattooist and former pub landlord
IRENE
A bar manager
ROB P.
A guitarist
WOLFIE
A former bus driver
DENO
A tattooist, partner to JULIA B.
PHIL
The Author’s brother
TUBBS
A Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross
HANNAH W.
A croupier
JENNY
A non-ex-girlfriend
LES
A photographer
KEIRA
A care worker, daughter to LEIGHTON L.
CHRIS B.
A doctor and former schoolmate
MIKE H.
A very old friend
IAN L.
A hairdresser
ANDREW F.
A former wine salesman
ANGELA T.
A former barmaid
CARYS (a.k.a. NANCY RANDOM)
A university drop-out
WESLEY
An Ulster poet
NAJ, TASNIN
Vaguely dippy Bangladeshi bints, sisters to SHANARA
HUW F.
A engineer
STEVE C.
A folk musician
IMOGEN
A former student
LORNA PRICHARD
A former local reporter, broadcast journalist
JADE
A barbint and celebrity wannabe
PAUL P.
A computer engineer
GARETH M.
A psychology lecturer
NICKY H.
A criminology student
MIKE C.
An amateur boxer and musician
GARETH B-D.
A hyphenated former work colleague
SAMANTHA J.,NAOMI, DANIELLE
Creative writing pals
CATHERINE M.
An author and creative writing tutor
SALLY H.
A costume designer
SAMMY H., EMMA B., SIAN D., ANGHARAD, JAMES E., NADINE L.
Combined Studies pals
ROB C.
A geek, former work colleague
WAYNE, WAYNETTA
Pseudonymous Valleys Lowlife
EMMA S.
A Take That fan
VES
A piss-artist
AMANDA D.
A teaching assistant, partner to VES
RICHARD P.
A Criminalistics lecturer
GILL A.
An English lecturer
TIM R.
A Psychology lecturer
STEPHEN L.
A Criminalistics lecturer
SARAH T.
An English student
SCOTT
A space invader
MARK W.
A Humanities graduate (1st Class)
SLIM
An old friend
DANNY
A former piss-artist
OTHER DANNY
A piss-artist
SALLY E.
A charity administrator
DAI B.
A tattooist
SAM B.
A liability, former partner to DAI B.
RICHARD F.
A civil engineer
DENIS
The Author’s godfather
KAREN L.
A near miss
MATT H.
The Author’s former lodger
BECKY J.
A trainee teacher
CLAIRE H.
A lesbian
BECKY J.
A trainee teacher
MAVIS
A drummer
DOZ H.
A noisy bugger
JOY
A former pub landlady
NEIL R.
An old friend
PAM
A CGI artist
TRACY M.
A former work colleague
GARETH P.
A Forensic Science lecturer
JASMIN
A German girl
OLLY
A techno-techie
DAFYDD
A politician, son to ROWLAND
ANDREW L.
A keyboard player and artist
KRISTY M.
A near miss
DARREN B.
A former radio producer
ANDY TILLISON
A musician and songwriter
BROGAN
A Gnostic
C—
A hopeless case
BARBARA
A secondhand bookseller
LEIGHTON P.
A man from Maerdy
SAMMY M.
A schoolgirl
KATH M.
A former pub landlady
STELLA
An insane Black Labrador
JOSIE J.
A paternal cousin
IAN W.
A Buddhist geneticist
LYNNE
A born-again lunatic
HUW E.
A very mature student
VICKI F.
A non-Muslim niqabi
WILL B.
A computer genius
DAVE B.
A lovely chap
SARAH P.
A barbint
TONY E.
A maternal uncle
TONY A.
A piss-artist
JAZZ
A poet an charity worker
AMANDA N.
A social worker
ROB H.
A freelance proofreader
ROGER.
A very tall friend
KEISTAN.
A gay law student
ALEX.
A near miss
LEIGH
An anarchist
ANDY TILLISON.
A musician and songwriter
SIMON M.
A civil servant
NEOLA
A school librarian
RICHARD M.
An appreneur
LINDA, BEVERLY.
Piss-artists worker
SUE P.
A piss-artist
BECKY S., HANNAH R.,
Half-sisters, piss-artists
An Autobiography in Random Chapters 